Teenage Caveman (USA, 1958) 65 min B&W DIR-PROD: Roger Corman. SCR: R.Wright Campbell. MUSIC: Albert Glasser. DOP: Floyd Crosby. CAST: Robert Vaughn, Darah Marshall, Leslie Bradley, Frank De Kova, Charles Thompson, June Jocelyn, Jonathan Haze, Beach Dickerson, Ed Nelson, Robert Shayne. (American International Pictures)
Imagine what poor Floyd Crosby must have felt, thirty years after his Oscar-winning cinematography on Tabu, earning a paycheque for something like Teenage Caveman? Robert Vaughn too would probably rather forget that he made this flick so early in his career because this picture really is terrible… even without the misleading title, featuring an actor who already looks 40. This “existential” allegory features an idealistic caveman who questions the accepted truths handed to his tribe, especially those by the wise Greybeard, the old sage. “Age is not always truth”, he pontificates. But for all that, the production of this movie is totally bottom of the barrel.
Roger Corman’s handyman Beach Dickerson has the thankless task of acting in a bear suit and attacking Robert Vaughn. And if you think that’s bad, all of the cavemen react to offscreen monsters, and then the film cuts to footage of dinosaurs, shamelessly lifted from One Million Years B.C. What’s good for Robot Monster is good for Roger Corman, right?
Spoiler alert! This cardboard movie trudges along until the absolutely amazing finale. R. Wright Campbell’s screenplay previously gives no insightful observations, unless you count such stunning dialogue exchanges as “Wonder no more.” / “I wonder still.” In the climax, Robert Vaughn combats some sorry looking furry creature with an ant’s head and elephant trunk (designed by Paul Blaidsell). It turns out that this furry thing is actually a radiation suit. Inside… is a human being, and he carries a book about the atomic age! Apparently these weirdo creatures in the forbidden land that the cavemen were told to avoid until now, are from the planet Earth after an atomic holocaust! Once the cave people ponder their own future, the movie closes with a narrator asking, “How many times will it happen again and if it does will any at all survive the next time, or will be THE END?” This movie is pure torture up until the last reel, but it seems worth it.
Originally published in The Roger Corman Scrapbook.
Greg Woods
Greg Woods has been a film enthusiast since his teens, and began his writing "career" at the same time- prolific in capsule reviews of everything he had watched, first on index cards, then those hardcover dollar store black journals, then an old Mac IIsi. He founded The Eclectic Screening Room in 2001, as a portal to share his film love with the world, and find some like-minded enthusiasts along the way. In addition to having worked in the film industry for over two decades, he has been a co-programmer of films at Trash Palace, and a programmer/co-founder of the Toronto Film Noir Syndicate. He has also written for Broken Pencil, CU-Confidential, Micro-Film, and is currently working on his first novel. His secret desire is for someone to interview him for a podcast or a DVD extra.