The Lemon Grove Kids Meet the Monsters (1968)

The Lemon Grove Kids Meet the Green Grasshopper and the Vampire Woman from Outer Space DIR: Ted Roter. PROD: Ray Dennis Steckler, Keith Wester. SCR: E.M. Keuke, based on characters created by R.D. Steckler. MUSIC: Andre Brummer. DOP: Gil Hubbs. CAST: Ray Dennis Steckler (Gopher), Mike Kannon (Slug), Keith Wester (Marvin Marvin), J. Jay Hartford (Skinny), Kedric Wolfe (Jocko), Joe Bardo (Brick), Felicia Guy (Flower), Beverly Carter (Dum-Dum), Carolyn Brandt (Vampire Woman), Coleman Francis (Mr. Miller), Herb Robins, Doug Weise (choopers); Estelle Cooperman, Patricia Wells, D.J. Scord (witches); Tony Flynn (Pee Wee), Linda Steckler (Linda), Laura Steckler (Tickles).
The Lemon Grove Kids DIR-PROD: Ray Dennis Steckler. SCR: Ron Haydock, Jim Harmon. MUSIC: André Brummer. DOP: Jack Cooperman. CAST: Cash Flagg (Gopher), Mike Kannon (Slug), Bart Carsell (Duke), Coleman Francis (Big Ed), Larry Pearson (Larry), Mary Morgan (Ma), Rox Anne (Roxy), Herb Robins (Killer Krump), Kirk Kirksey (Kirk), Jim Plunkett (Stretch), Ed McWatters (The Saboteur), Kogar.
The Lemon Grove Kids… Go Hollywood! DIR: Ted Roter. PROD: Ray Dennis Steckler, Keith A. Wester. SCR: Ray Dennis Steckler. MUSIC: André Brummer. Title Song: “The Lemon Grove Kids” music and lyrics by Don Snyder. CAST: R.D. Steckler (Gopher), Don Snyder (Don), Tony Flynn (Pee Wee), Linda Christina (Linda), Jeannie Rae (Tickles), Carolyn Brandt (Dee Dee Beaumont), Herb Robins (Killer Krump), Eric Morris (Nick the Gimp), Keith Wester (Swami Marvin), Boris Balocoff (Mr. Carstairs), Beverly Carter (secretary), Jack DeFrain (Film Editor), George J. Morgan (reporter #1), Mary Morgan (reporter #2).

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The RE:Search book, Incredibly Strange Films, features a great quote by actress Carolyn Brandt (then Mrs. Steckler), about the making of the Lemon Grove Kids series. “It was even funnier when we first moved to Lemon Grove Avenue- nice, lovely middle-class couples, and in come the bohemians! The first thing we do it put our flying saucer in the front yard. The next thing we do is start filming. Into this very nice middle-class neighbourhood in the mid-sixties we brought a mummy running around, a gorilla running around, the Lemon Grove kids running all around the area… It was another year before they’d let our kids play with their kids.”

That is certainly part of the madcap appeal of the three “Lemon Grove” shorts we are reviewing, which are collected as one feature film. The Stecklers decided to make a series of films based around their new home, and it indeed feels like a family affair. These homages to old matinee movies feel like home movies (and I mean that in every sense of the word), and it feels as refreshing as watching your old slides taken at Disneyland. There is a wonderful community in the Steckler enterprise: where friends and family members fill out the cast (adding a lovely personal touch), but many do double duty behind the camera. The Lemon Grove Kids is a 60s suburban knockoff of the old Bowery Boys movies, featuring the misadventures of a bunch of adults who are still kids at heart. Steckler appears in all three instalments as “Gopher”, doing a spot-on Huntz Hall impersonation. Although the Grove Kids’ roster changes in each episode, another constant cast member is Tickles, whose reactions are often handy cutaways. Tickles and Pee Wee, the younger kids, are probably the most mature of the group, as the adults play juvenilia over the top.

The Lemon Grove Kids Meet the Green Grasshopper and the Vampire Woman from Outer Space (whew!) opens typically “Steckler-esque”, with all hell breaking loose. During one afternoon at the “Lemon Grove Kids Handy Man Shop” (AKA- The Stecklers’ backyard), action is busting all over: kids playing hula hoops, an undercranked tennis game, Gopher playing pool, Jocko’s darts hitting everything but the dart board; a garage band with a kid on drums, Marvin Marvin checking out the band, Tickles looking to the camera, Gopher stuffing balls into centre pocket by hand. (One sidebar: the films of Ray Dennis Steckler have the bitchin’est unknown garage-surf music I’ve ever heard.)

Suddenly at some makeshift desk beside all of this pandemonium, Slug gets a call from Mr. Miller (Grade Z director-actor Coleman Francis!) to clean the bushes in his backyard. The Lemon Grove Kid leader tells the gang to go to work and they throw hula-hoops at him! Cut to another shot of Tickles. The Kids’ cleaning up is a decoupage of undercranked footage featuring the gang clowning around and collecting brush, The Little Lemon Grove Kids on swings, Linda Steckler on hula hoops, cutaways to Tickles and Slug blowing the whistle yelling at Gopher a lot. At one point, Slug asks some anonymous chippies: “Aren’t you girls ashamed of yourselves letting Gopher do all the work?”, and they reply “We Are The Gopher Girls” (sung to “Ta ra ra boom dee ay”), as Gopher does a pantomime splash in their silly wading pool. Cut to more swinging to pad the footage. Cut to single shots of The Gopher Girls, a guy getting a football, a kid in a helmet, a kid raking leaves, a girl on a blanket, another kid in a floppy hat, a young boy whom Tickles kisses, each getting pulled offscreen by some green rubber hand.

Suddenly a silly aluminum one-seat flying saucer appears. Gopher motions the boys to come look. Miller comes out and asks what’s going on. Some grasshopper thing emerges from the saucer and fires a stinger at Miller. He walks up: “Welcome Martha (or something)”, and The Vampire Lady appears from behind the grasshopper thing and bites his neck. Mr. Miller follows her into the house. Cut to full shot of Gopher and his pals. Marvin Marvin mutters: “I think she just bit the fellow”. Cut to another cutaway of Tickles (I haven’t been keeping count.) Slug blows the whistle for rest of the gang but no one answers. Gopher gets in and starts the key on the UFO… it vanishes! The grasshopper thing and the vampire lady look out the window of the house. Cutaway to Tickles (again). The UFO reappears, and as a punishment for his frivolities, Slug busts him in rank!

Nevertheless the gang goes into the house through window. (“The house isn’t haunted, just her!”) Skinny tries to hide in a little trunk, Jocko crawls through some slimy stuff, gets shushed by Marvin Marvin, who crawls over him. Tickles comes to the window, giggles, “Upside down; bye bye Skinny”. Slug slaps Gopher with his hat (think of The Skipper’s constant abuse towards Gilligan), Jocko and Marvin-Marvin hide in behind an oil drum until the grasshopper thing and Vampire Woman come downstairs to the basement, and grab the two from behind the drum. Then Mr. Miller gets bitten by some crazy witch woman, and then some other ghoul offers her some salt because he tastes bad (!), then the grasshopper thing holds some crazy flower up to Mr. Miller, which sends him to their planet! Then the thing puts the flower in a filing cabinet, only to be taken by Tickles.

Meanwhile, Slug and Gopher see all their friends as zombies in some weirdo lab in the basement. The weird vampire-witch-grasshopper ghoul things do some weird operation on Marvin-Marvin, Gopher goes to help– the vampire woman bites him, but he bites her back, she screams, suddenly everyone comes back to life! Cut to Tickles looking bewildered. The camera zooms in and out on the Vampire Woman; the grasshopper thing hops around; Slug blows his whistle, the grasshopper goes to the UFO, witches dance and curtsey with each other in the living room while another plays the organ; Lemon Grove kids run in and run out; Tickles runs in and makes the witches disappear with the flower, and also goes “poof” to two grasshopper people, everyone else runs out window, then runs down the driveway in undercranked motion. Slug and Gopher catch their breath at the filing cabinet. Suddenly, Gopher has fangs! He runs and meets Marvin Marvin and Jocko, and then Gopher comes out and bites his hand! Cut to slow-motion action of Tickles on a swing as credits roll, with the flower wrapped around one of its chains.

This is undoubtedly the weirdest of the lot, in which logic gets thrown out the window at about the time the UFO appears. Mind you, no film with a vampiress, a weird grasshopper thing, and witches could make sense. This is a “one-ghoul-fits-all” tribute to funhouse monster movies, with one strange thrill after another. This effort has so much going on at once, and is played with such zeal, that you just roll along with it. Alas, this instalment is just a warm-up!

During the opening credits of The Lemon Grove Kids… Go Hollywood!, Tickles, Linda and Pee Wee visit the zoo. A la the opening of Rat Phink a Boo Boo, once again Steckler skims from his own home movies for his theatrical films. Since his film career in general is a family affair, it makes sense that this personal footage gets added into the mix. Gopher is greeted by the kids when they come back from zoo, and he starts imitating all the animals that we saw in the opening credits.

This weird moment of improv is cut short once Gopher says they have to go to work now with their pal Don. Apparently, they have a job working for the beautiful movie star Dee Dee Beaumont (played by, of course, Carolyn Brandt, who played C.B. Beaumont in Rat Phink). Don is pacing up and down in front of Dee Dee’s house, with guitar in hand as Gopher and the kids show up. Meanwhile, two goons (Killer in a cap, Nick in a toque) hiding up in the tree look visibly upset that these kids are here. (“What are these kids doing here? Donations?”)

The Lemon Grove Kids go into Dee Dee’s house, and much to the delight of the viewer, Ms. Beaumont is in a slinky green dress. In a sure case of art repeating life, Gopher (Mr. Steckler) is all gaga over Dee Dee (Mrs. Steckler). As the hoods prowl around the outside of the house, Pee Wee vacuums, Gopher trips, Dee Dee reads, the hoods sneak around, Gopher washes a window, Don carries a crate. Taking a break from all this hard work, Don sings the Lemon Grove Kids theme song to Dee Dee, while Linda dusts, Gopher tries to straighten a picture, Tickles wipes the table, and Dee Dee laughs. Pee Wee asks for an autograph (one for himself, then another for Gopher who is too bashful to ask).

Gopher helps Dee Dee rehearse for her Cleopatra role. The kids watch from the stairs in amusement, then they go outside to mow the lawn. Naturally, they don’t see the hoods lurking about. Just as well, as these two goons have problems of their own. (Nick asks: “Do you know what poison ivy looks like?”). Then in an inspired moment, Dee Dee talks about wanting to see into the future so she knows what roles to take. No problem! Gopher says he knows a swami named Marvin (played by the film’s co-producer!), who is building a house of cards when Gopher telephones to invite him down. The kids are outside doing yard work, the swami comes to house and goes inside, and the hoods still haven’t finished sneaking around the building yet! Swami Marvin plays piano, but Dee Dee is sad because she’s worried about her future– her producer Carstairs is planning to replace her. The swami needs silence to read her future (then why the hell was he playing the piano?), so Gopher goes outside, and then the hoods tie and bag him.

The swami takes cards from his little red suitcase, oblivious to Gopher’s cries for help as the hoods sneak in– well, almost; Nick closes the door on Killer. No-one hears the noise of course, as Dee Dee is rapt in the fortune teller’s prophecy: “I see a tall dark man in your future, he’s wearing a porkpie hat (cut to Gopher), down to earth (cut to Gopher on the ground), wrapped up in his work (cut to Gopher all tied up), I see a future full of intrigue!” Cut to the hoods nabbing the swami and grabbing Dee Dee!

In a hilarious bit of product placement, the next shot is the front door of the Steckler-Wester Enterprises office. Their secretary answers the phone with the same stutter as Porky Pig. In a takeoff on dictatorial Hollywood brass, Carstairs is in the editing room yelling in German at the film editor. He takes a call from Killer, who tells him Dee Dee is kidnapped and demands ransom. Carstairs says she isn’t worth ten cents at the box office, laughs, hangs up, then goes back to the editing machine! This is a brilliantly sick stab at Tinseltown, albeit played for more laughs than the anti-Hollywood rant in The Thrill Killers.

Meanwhile, Don and the rest of the kids spy in through the glass door (strangely, they don’t notice Gopher in the backyard), then run in and Don socks around Killer while Pee Wee attacks Nick; Linda jumps up and down a lot. Cut to fast-motion footage of Gopher untying himself. The swami jumps out of closet onto Nick. The two bad guys are then chased around the coffee table and up and down the hallway by Don and the kids. Gopher finally unties himself and watches the action through the glass door. Don jumps on Nick, Pee Wee jumps up and down, Tickles jumps up and down, until finally the two goons find the exit. The duo runs out the door and Gopher trips them with his rope in fast-motion, the gang helps him, and Dee Dee claps.

Finally, we cut to a scene with reporters at Dee Dee’s doorway. Thanks to the goons’ attempted kidnapping, Ms. Beaumont has earned a million dollars worth of publicity. Carstairs announces Dee Dee Beaumont’s new role, as Cleopatra, and she gets to pick the leading man… Gopher ! Suddenly, The Lemon Grove Kids’ main clown appears in sunglasses (cutaways to aghast people). Then the credits roll, in a tone which appropriately bookends the opening… more home movie footage, shot in Steckler’s living room. Don plays and sings the Lemon Grove Kids theme side by side with the three kids, who supply backing vocals.. well, mainly Pee Wee, as Tickles and Linda look somewhat bewildered and amazed. Bewildered and amazed… that’s how we feel about all of the Lemon Grove series, isn’t it?

This segment bears the trademarks of Steckler’s gonzo cinema,as the plot, tone and characters all change in a heartbeat. In his valentine to old movies, the characters are basically caricatures (which makes sense, as they are sending up Hollywood stereotypes). However, his nervous movies still seem “real” in a sense, because he draws upon a resource of personal footage which strangely humanize the insane goings-on. Additionally, his players let a bit of themselves into their acting. This is parallel to the Baudelairian Cinema of the time, in which the films of Jack Smith, et al, are campy valentines to melodramas of yore, are studies of intentionally bad acting, yet also show the person behind the mask of the actor.

In The Lemon Grove Kids, the last of the series (or is it the first, based on the short title?) is certainly the most elaborate. It is a mutant cross between Buster Keaton, Our Gang, Jacques Tati with a dollop of Jean-Luc Godard thrown into the mix. It opens on one of Godard’s favourite motifs, a street sign: “Lemon Grove Ave. 5000 W.”, the neighbourhood that Steckler and his filmmaking pals turned upside down. Gopher is mowing the lawn (in fast-motion, of course), as some jovial music plays. Just like Jean-Luc would do, the music stops cold during a cut in of Slug getting out of bed. Cut to Gopher and Pee Wee doing push ups. Larry walks by, wondering what these characters are up to. Pee Wee is building up muscles to be on his team. Slug is in his pyjamas looking out the window at his sister Rosy in a bathing suit. Ma is in her housecoat in kitchen when the rueful Slug asks her if Rosy is still going out with Mazaratti “the bum”.

Two guys come by playing catch with a basketball, while the two are still exercising, then Pee Wee sprays everyone with a hose. Then in a moment right out of Lumiere’s Watering the Gardener (or for that matter, Truffaut’s homage to it in Les Mistons) Gopher grabs it and drenches himself while apparently trying to turn it off. Larry goes over to visit Slug, and if he can help it, Rosy. Title card: “Duke Mazarrati, neighbor-hood, arrives”. Cut to Duke, a swarthy-looking thing in a black suit and hat, bringing flowers to Ma. Slug taunts Duke, Ma says, “Sylvester, will you stop that”. Rosy comes out all spiffed up, Larry frowns when she leaves.

Back to Gopher’s lunacy, as he bounces himself and ball up and down (cut away to Slug’s head going up and down). Slug orders Gopher to go get groceries across town at some little store in a rough neighbourhood (this must have been before the strip malls came in to cushy Lemon Grove). Gopher comes out of store, and cautiously looks around, then gets surrounded by gang led by Killer (once again played by Herb Robins, the Killer of the previous Lemon Grove segment). This fiend forces Gopher to open a pop bottle with his teeth, then tells him to give Slug a message. Gopher comes back with a sweater tied around his neck, and not in preppie fashion. (“He said to meet you at the bridge.”)

Under the bridge, the Lemon Grove gang gets roughed up in cartoonish fashion with old cowboy fight music, while Killer watches from the sides. Clancy the cop arrives (right out of a Little Rascals short?!?), then everyone in either of the warring gangs pretends that they’re dancing instead of fighting. Clancy is not fooled and tells them to settle their differences in a cross-country race. 

Title card: “Duke informs “Big Ed” Norzak, local bookie, that Killer Krump’s team will win…” Cut to poor Coleman Francis, complete with rhinophoma, playing Big Ed. “I ain’t interested”, he bellows. His henchmen leave and then he double-times to catch up to them, just to make it look like he’s in control of this mob. But Duke says he has the Saboteur working for him so Big Ed shakes his hand, “it’s a deal”. 

Gopher runs past the cop on the beat to tell Slug something; they collide, Gopher can’t remember what to tell him, Slug tells him to go set up the race. (Was this a blown take that was feebly recovered at the end?) Cut to a close-up of ” Hollywood Journal” with an obvious pasted-on headline: “Narzak Gives 10 to 1 on West”. Title card: “And the betting is on”. Cut to Duke collecting a bet from a blind beggar. Title card: “And the training is on”. Cut to a wild shot taken from a moving car down an alleyway– Killer’s men doing bends and stretches. Meanwhile, the Lemon Grove training consists of Slug at the wheel of the car as everyone else pushes it (was this the same car used to film the previous shot?). Cut to Killer’s men lifting hay. Cut to the Lemon Grove guys jumping over garbage cans. Cut to Killer’s guys wiping out on skateboards and bicycles. Cut to an awkward close-up of Gopher running over cans.

Title card: “Finally… the day of the race!”. We are then treated to lovely candid shots of balloons being given out, Gopher eating ice cream, Big Ed wiping a spot on a cop’s shirt. Title card: “Big Ed takes out extra insurance”. Cut to a bunch of guys peering up from inside a sedan, in a moment right out of countless 40’s comic B pictures featuring inept gangsters waiting to pounce on their prey. The cop starts the race but Larry isn’t there yet. 

Cut to four tough guys with Larry in their car (hmmm… no fight was filmed?!?) Anyhow, the race starts without him, and right at the word “go”, everyone falls over each other. (Gopher runs the wrong way.) Then there is a weird scene of someone pulling a string on the back of someone who is flat on ground, to get them going again! Two guys stop to take a breather, one says, “I wish I had a drink of water”, then they get water poured on them! (No, not by Tickles.) Two girls hitchhike on the sidewalk, the dedicated kidnappers see them, and the driver suddenly slams on the brakes. The guys in the front smear into the windshield. Larry in the backseat knocks the other two guys’ heads together and escapes. One guy in the front reels, then shoots at him. Larry runs through the congregation at the race. A cigarette drops out of Big Ed’s mouth. People point him to the direction of the race. 

Title card: “The Saboteur”. Cut to a guy in a red beret, and pointed goatee flanked by two women dressed in black. (This must be the allusion to Ms. Brandt’s remembrance of the Lemon Grove neighbourhood being horrified by these bohemian types that moved in) Title card: “Check-point #1– The Saboteur’s first dastardly deed…” and we cut to a shot at the beach (is a Steckler movie complete without one?). He disconnects the phone line used by a guy sitting at a card table by the shoreline! Meanwhile, the saboteur’s beatnik women on the beach lure boys away from race, so The Saboteur can come out and nab them, and usually trips while doing so (he keeps getting the wrong guy, anyway). Meanwhile, Larry, the saboteur’s object of capture has his own problems. He is being chased by a dog. Larry runs past the guy at the card table, the girls and The Saboteur, who is by a big beach umbrella. 

Title card: “Check-point #2– Guess who?” It’s The Saboteur with a spy glass– he wipes out again. Two Lemon Grove guys run past, a girl walks by to distract them long enough for The Saboteur to put an atom bomb in their hands, and then countdown leader which begins every classroom film appears on the screen to make up for the explosion!

Title card: “Meanwhile, Gopher finds a shortcut” (Huh?) Cut to a girl in a backyard doing some weird exercise or dancing. Gopher quietly sneaks past her, but the gate squeaks when he opens it. Her scream brings out some guy who has only one half of his face matted with shaving cream, and he chases Gopher out of the yard. “My hero”, she squeaks. They kiss; she has shaving cream all over her face. 

Title card: “The home stretch…” In a track shot from a moving car, Larry begins to outrun everybody. However, he trips over some weird guy in a dress hugging a bouquet of flowers, but still manages to make it through the finish line. This time, two cigars fall from Big Ed’s mouth! Larry and Rosy embrace. Big Ed and his goons surround Duke. Ma overhears him mentioning The Saboteur. She says “You jerk!”, then pummels him with her purse! Then in a hilarious, in-your-face fast-motion chase, Big Ed and the boys pursue Duke down the street, but then Big Ed stops to talk to a girl and walks the other way as his guys keep on going. Meanwhile, Slug pours water on his Lemon Grove pals and asks, “Where’s Gopher?” Title card: “Yes, what did happen to Gopher??”

Then in a hilarious bit of Brechtian nonsense, Gopher runs in on Kogar the Gorilla carrying Carolyn Brandt in a scene from Steckler’s own Rat Phink a Boo Boo! Rat Phink comes to rescue her (where’s Boo Boo?), Gopher fights the ape, then Rat Phink tells Gopher to get lost, while Carolyn shakes her head at what a goof Gopher is for stumbling into a movie set! Then Gopher (in a daytime shot) runs and reacts to a red-tinted shot of a mummy at nighttime (with thunderstorm effects) and numerous cutaways to stock shots of lightning. Gopher keeps running but then a mummy comes out of bushes (as if to suggest that there’s a different mummy in each new shot). Carolyn comes in gets grabbed by the mummy, then there are numerous shots of Gopher running around.

The last few scenes are in fast motion, but normal-speed dialogue seems to be rubbery when matched with the image. Suddenly it’s daytime again, as the mummy is carrying a blonde girl this time. Gopher runs up, yells, “Drop that girl, mummy!” The girl tells him to get off the set. The mummy even pokes Gopher in the eyes like Curly of the Three Stooges! Then there is a cutaway to people (Rat Phink among them) milling around the camera yelling at him. Cut-in to a sign: “Amateur 8mm Movie Club USA”. The actor in the mummy costume pulls his mask off (“Here’s another fine mess you’ve gotten us into!”), and crowd members continue to jeer, including Carolyn Brandt in pearl earrings and a white stole! Gopher runs down the laneway. The End.

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Wow. I don’t know what all that was, but it sure felt good, just like the rest of this wonderful movie. There is not another movie maker in American narrative cinema quite like Ray Dennis Steckler. His work is an important link between the personal feel of the Post World War II avant garde, and the improvisatory feel of French New Wave, filtered through American pop culture. His wide-eyed valentines to comic books, matinee movies and sock hops are truly unique in their unconventional approaches. Steckler understandably considers The Lemon Grove Kids series to be his favourite of his films. For what is essentially a collection of three short films, this piece of work is so invigorating, and full of love.

The Lemon Grove Kids Theme. Sing it loud!

We’re The Lemon Grove Kids
And we love to have fun
Everywhere we go
You never know
What to expect

We’re The Lemon Grove Kids
And we get the job done
Anything that should get done
We’ll gladly try to do

And if something goes wrong
Like it usually does
Don’t you worry at all because

Just when you think you should
Scream for help
We save the day in spite of ourselves

We’re The Lemon Grove Kids
And we’ll try anything once
So look out whenever we’re around
There’s no problem we can’t confound
A simple task

You need done today
It’s so easy we’ll find a harder way
Lemon Grove
Lemon Grove
Lemon Grove
Lemon Grove

Kids!

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Originally published in Vol. #1, Issue #11, as part of the “Ray Dennis Steckler and You” series.